Yeshiva World today presented a Kol Korei from the Rabbonim declaring boys should marry girls close to their own age, or even older, to help solve the age-gap-shidduch-crisis-issue.

Brilliant.
This is how I read into it:

Don't let girls date or marry before they turn twenty. This way they will have earned some money, or begun their schooling, and are closer to finishing a degree and increased earning power.
In turn, it puts less of a strain on parents to help support sons-in-law in Kollel.
In addition, post seminary girls have more realistic obligations and have experienced the realities of juggling school, jobs, and social activities to have a better understanding of commitments and realistic expectations of what life can throw at you.
Therefore parents may actually have two or three children marrying within a few years without the father mortgaging to the hilt and having a heart attack at the 3rd child'sTano'im.

Brilliant! or, duh, extemely obvious.

This actually might also lead to less of the following experience I just had with a potential shadchan.
She called me to suggest boy for one of the DIP's. He is learning, will do so for a few years, then wants to go to grad school. Sounds great! Responsible! NORMAL! But this is how the conversation went:
Shadchan: So this guy is really into his learning, serious about his chavrusos and zmanin, he is just realistic about the future!
Me: sounds great to me
SH: But the mother says she has 100 names and they are all the same
Me: don't worry, my DIP's are different (like really, what SHOULD I have said? mine are the 101st and 102nd of the same??)
SH: The girls who want someone who is only learning get upset that he has a BTL and even talks about going for a Masters, and the ones who want a guy who will work aren't serious about his learning, and don't really want to support him for a few years!
Me: (in a magnanimous (I have no clue why this is now underlined) voice) well, you know, girls panic or aren't sure of what they want, and
SH: no, no, my point is, he is the TYPE to really learn for a long time, but he is very REALISTIC as to the REALITIES of life, and he wants to have a parnossa but he wants a girl who REALLY wants someone who is learning, but he HAS to go to school, but REALLY he is into his learning...

Why is everyone so darn apologetic? Just say it like it is! He is learning and will have a parnossa.


Oy vey

Gmar Chasima Tova

Let's hope this year H'Bhu will answer all of Klal Yisroel's tefilos.

And next year at this time I will be blogging about my sons-in-law

Hello out there, she's MY kid, too

Well, we don't have the guys yet, but I can tell you that when we do, and we are making a wedding, my name is going to be on the invitation with my husband's. None of this "rav so and so U'reiso".

that isn't tznius, it's just plain idiocy. If it is untzniusdik to write down the mother of the daughter's name, then it shouldn't say Mr. and Mrs. , but just Mr. and Family. don't even write Mr. and Wife. The connotations are too vulgar. And the monogram shouldn't have the initials of the boy, girl, and last name all entwined and mixed together. And I think the word "kallah" in "simchas Chosson V'Kallah" should be left out. People might start to envision a beautiful bride in a flowing gown.

And the whole Badekin thing should be completely obsolete. Let them do the checking thing out in the hall with only parents watching. Do you see the way those boys prance between rows of women?? To be honest, I am even wary about writing this, lest someone claim it is already banned. I can't quite understand why in the frum world it is still allowed.

I think when teaching about who is buried at Me'oras Hamachpela, children should be told "Adam U'reiso" and so on. And Kever Rochel? Should be referred to as "kever achos shel aishes Yaakov". Let's protect our children from exposure to women's names.

That's why I call my daughters DIP1, DIP2, etc.....

There is a new aspect I don't like about the whole dating/shidduch scene. Not new, but newly realized by me.

Our beautiful bnos yisroel are expected to develop a meaningful relationship after 3 or 4 dates. With an absolute stranger. And if it doesn't work out, and the girl is lucky enough to have a "list", a week or two later she begins developing another meaningful relationship.

You know what? this is wreaking havoc on girls' emotional state.
Even if the boy is boring, ugly, and self centered.
Even if the girl says no.
Even if it ends before it ever leads anywhere "meaningful".

Kudos and Mazel Tovs and yay for those who marry the second or third boy they date.

And I am not whining about girls who have been dating for ten years,
or girls who are negative,
or girls who have unrealistic expectations.

I am talking about girls who have full, busy lives, who date in order to meet their Eizer Knegdo.
They are becoming emotionally exhausted.
I do not mean girls who think it is tragic that they aren't married at 22.
I mean girls who find it hard to share everything with a boy or with their parents because it is the same old stuff.

can someone please tell me a solution? but serious, well thought out options, please.
I KNOW the system stinks, so no complaints. just positive suggestions.

Then maybe I can try to implement some of these new ideas for DIP 3. who isn't yet in the parsha.

Talkin' Tough Does the Trick

I don't like to admit in public that I am a Vos iz Neias lurker, but I do read their news sometimes. And this article would be a wonderful read for the Obama administration, and, quite frankly, most Americans who continue to believe you can be accomodating and negotiate with Arabs.

http://www.vosizneias.com/35601/2009/07/24/

don't you just love his comment about his public relations skills? Ah! Israeli confidence!

I think some parents would do well to adopt this policy with their kids. A little backbone sometimes is helpful.

I Can See the Chemistry!

Overheard in a store:
two young women said hi to each other. One looked at the other's baby in the carriage and said,
"Oy! He is REALLY cute! And he Mamish looks like your older daughter! I really see the chemistry!"

I am not sure if the problem is that:
1. when they first heard the expression they weren't paying attention to the way it was said, and subsequently every time they use it, it is incorrect,.
2. they have no idea what chemistry is or means
3. they are like a lot of people in this neighborhood who don't know how to use the English language properly.

YBS could give them lessons. And he has been in camp, so no good conversations with him. When he is home he sleeps.

will wonders never cease

YBS received a 100 on hisHebrew regent.

and reminded me that he received a 97 on his English regent.

L'maisa, his language skills are nicht ganz gefairlach. He apparently has a very klor understanding of the l'shoinois around him. We're taka, feeling an aliya!!