Thursday, December 12, 2013

Have Rachmunus - For the right person

No one ever wants to fire an employee. Especially if he is the sole bread winner of his family.  Especially if he/she is a really nice person, well meaning, and trying hard.

But a business has to function, make profits, and move ahead.

And in school, children need to learn. Period.

Every teacher needs to have that first job, and needs someone who believes they have the potential to inspire children and become a great educator.  Some schools only hire young teachers after they've proven themselves as assistants or substitutes.  Some schools take a chance, and get very lucky - the teacher or rebbi who exudes enthusiasm,  creativity, excitement, and thought out lesson planning proves to be a dynamic educator.

And even mediocre can be, ok.  If willing to accept suggestions, implement new ideas, and most important, asks for help when necessary.

But it is time for schools to choose the children over the teacher when it comes to really ineffective, poorly trained, unorganzied teachers.  I am sure one on one they would be good.  Perhaps small groups.  Very specific subjects.  But if most of the parents are  unhappy, most of the kids are not learning, no control going on in class, the time has come to decide the needs of these students overrides the needs of parnossa for the teacher.

(disclaimer: this is in reference to a conversation I had today with a parent, not from any school I work in or have a personal connection to)

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Picture or No Picture?

I've been sending DIP3's shidduch profile to some people and friends.

Yes she Is In The Parsha!!

Some have asked for a picture:
a Shadchan who wants it to remember her, because he spoke to a lot of girls in one night.  I was hoping her charm and conversational abilites (combined with my presence, probably one of 2 mothers who showed up) would be enough.  I actually wanted to lean over and draw some stars, checks, and smiley faces next to his scribbled notes about her, so he would later remember, AH! This one was remarkable!

A shadchan who has books of boys and girls - blue for boys and pink for girls! - and needed a picture to remember who she was.  And.... wants to be able to forward it to mothers who ask for a picture. With my daughter's permission (she doesn't  mind).

an old acquaintance whom I don't keep up with and rarely see.  Who has no idea who my children are.  Who would like to see what she looks like so she can say, "...DIP3 is blonde, blue eyed, tall..." etc.  * (details changed to protect her privacy).

My sister said her husband will ask for a picture of the mother when asked for a picture of their daughter.  Since she is the one asking for the picture, usually.  Not the boy.  I'm pretty sure I blogged about this years ago, regarding DIP1.

I sent a pic from DIP1's wedding.  with, of course, a chatty note how "her makeup and hair don't always look this way  :)  :)  but I thought she looked great in it".

so what do you think about the pictures?
1- is it just the mothers, checking up that their Paul Newman gets the beauty he deserves?
2- are the shadchans really not sharing the pics with others?
3- is a professional picture from a wedding "too fancy", or do you agree (as I thought) why not send the best picture possible?

Sunday, December 8, 2013

I'll Assume They are Ignorant....

though if you are old enough to get married, and old enough to propose, learn some Halachos.

Maybe I'm wrong, in which case, I am humbled.

I've complained in the past about the pictures that people post.  I may be romantic at heart, but I find it tasteless that people wish to share with everyone their most private moments.  You want to propose with petals and flowers and tea lights and all that, go ahead! But you need your buddies there to film it? So there will be one event of your life not captured on film and sent out to everyone!
Please don't tell me it's a generational thing.  Just because you are the Instagram generation doesn't mean you should lose all sense of privacy.

And I've also complained about the boys who are proposing on one knee.  Call me a Monsey Chareidinik (but really, please don't!) but that is just so....goyish.  I'm sorry.  Please.  Do not go On Bended Knee.

And I've been somewhat irked that the proposal must come with a choice of diamond bracelet.  OK, so not everyone wants to just pop the question, get an answer, and that's it.  They want (amend that: the girls expect) a gift.  Say it with flowers!

But this newest thing I noticed on onlysimchas, is proposing with ring! Which to begin with really makes sense.  But I hope hope hope these new fiances are not putting it on or even handing it to the girl with the proposal - because as far as I know, kiddushin is with a ring. And you are then in theory, married.  So normally you don't give the engagement ring directly to the girl.

Do you young people know that?? Or in the onlysimchas pictures with the girls flashing their rings, are the friends snappping the pics also the one who was the go between?