Wednesday, November 25, 2009

YBS updates

So he is actually making soup in his crockpot!

YBS went to the local Shoprite and bought loads of vegetables. Second trip. First time he made soup and told me it tasted like bland tap water. Which was the main ingredient he put in the soup, plus half a parsnip, one onion, and a carrot. Second time around, he added squash, cauliflower, onions, potatoes, as well as carrots and parsnip. That soup came out great and he shared it with about seven guys.

You heard right, SHARED IT.

As in, "Would you like some? Here! My pleasure to GIVE you a bowlful."

Woah- I didn't scream at him but I loudly exclaimed,
Me: What on earth? Didn't you want to make some money? Didn't you want to have a new food angle? Didn't you want to sell some soup? Didn't I give you some moolah to buy veggies to make soup to make a profit??!!

YBS: Come on, Ma, I can't sell SOUP. It's like, not a choshuv zach. It's just vegetables! and Water!

Me: You sure can, buster! And chulent? is Just Beans! and Potatoes! And bad stomache aches later on!

YBS: it's just stupid soup!

Me: Oh, and Woodstock was JUST a concert?!?

YBS: ??? Huh??

Anyway, he is trying to diet. He told me he is getting all the bread they serve for lunches and suppers in whole wheat form. Like, subs, shwarma, etc? His will be whole wheat. And Shabbos rolls? His will be whole wheat. So of course I am already thinking, uh huh, whom did you have to pay off for this? But turns out the guy who has the food/haircut markets pretty much does the whole wheat request for free.

YBS is also trying to lose some poundage. He told me there is a treadmill in the dorm!

Me: Great! Can you go on it whenever you want?

YBS: Sort of. See this guy bought it and never uses it, so he charges $1 per use, or $10 from off shabbos to off shabbos.

whatever. He is shteiging, he is happy, he is trying to diet, and I am funding his learning about capitalism

Tuesday, November 17, 2009


YBS is always looking to make money. He just doesn't have opportunities or a very specific skill with which to earn.

In the yeshiva world, or dorm life, opportunities abound:
hair cuts
chulent maker
make chulent
drive to mechel's and buy chulent for everyone
buy kugel
hair cuts

of course there are seasonal things:
sell arba minim. usually a boy whose male relatives are already selling, so he has stock without shelling out his own money.
Purim Shtik. I need a whole post for THIS nonsense. But usually a boy who has a car, and on his way to or from Mechel's or Meal Mart, stops off and buys shtik.
Chulent seller/maker. Always the season for Chulent!!

So we were discussing his options this past shabbos.

YBS: I gotta do something, I need money for stuff
Me: Uh, How about hair cuts?
YBS: nope, AL already gives haircuts.
Me: So? 70 Bochrim is a lot of hair, isn't there room for you, too?
YBS: Stop, ok?! It's not a big deal, I am new in the yeshiva, I don't have to make trouble. Maybe when AL leaves.
Me: okay, I can't believe I am suggesting this,but how about Chulent? get a crock pot and you're all set.
YBS:Some guy already does it, he sells it on Thursday nights.
Me: So? 70 Bochrim is a lot of stomachs, and appetites, isn't there room for you to make, too?
YBS: Ma, what are you doing? these guys already do it, I can't just come in and sell whatever I want!
Me:?? why not?? What good is living in America and Believing in Capitalism if you don't have a little competition? And isn't Chulent Cook leaving Pesach Zman?
YBS: yeah, but AL (the barber) is taking over.
Me: WHAT??!? This is NUTS! the hair cut guy has a MONOPOLY and the rest of you are COWED into simpering unmotivated zombies who just get hair cuts and fress chulent and DON"T EVEN PROTEST!

YBS just stared at me. "I don't get this goyish zachin your sprechen about. It's no big deal.
Me: Okay, so how about making....soup! You can be the soup guy!
younger brother: Oh, soooo cooool. The guy who makes so-oop. slurp slurp yum yum. maybe he can do everyone's nails, too

However, .....YBS bought a small crock pot at Target and when he got to Yeshiva he made himself some vegetable soup.

Slurp slurp, quite good

Thursday, November 12, 2009


YBS is coming home tonight. Yay!! Lots of new terms I never heard of. And laundry and shopping and trips to Mechels and Shacharis at Chatzos in New Square.

I am excited, kind of miss his unique presence in the house.

Stay tuned

I Have the Wedding Cramp


I get this painful cramp in my right hip whenever I go to a wedding. It usually hits around the time I am dancing in the old lady circle with the mother of the chosson/kallah. We do that shuffle thing, which now I have perfected to just dragging my shoes along the floor so I don't have to exert any effort by actually lifting my legs. Or there is the two step kicking thing:
two right kicks to the front,
two left kicks to the front,
jump forward,
jump backwards,
run to the left!!

or the other popular one, but THIS one can go on for a good twenty minutes. When this dance starts I pray it is a wedding where the chosson kallah aren't into dancing (ha ha) and the music will be a short set. This dance is the hora. But not a fun leaping around type, the
right foot forward
left foot forward
box step
cherkaziya, or whatever that step is that we learned 35 years ago at Bnos Melave Malka that has not changed one step...

That is when the cramp sets in. Shooting bolts of pain. And did you notice that the dancing is 99% of the time going clockwise? so two wedding in one week and that is a very long and painful workout on my right hip. Or upper thigh. And there isn't even a hip muscle to get firm from all that shuffling and kicking.

Of course for me this is all exacerbated by the upside sweaty hand holder. Sweaty palms are uncomfortable, and the upside hand holder is unpleasant. They are both awful, but combined, sheer agony. And at the last wedding I went to, I got the death grip, too. So here I am dragging my feet during a painful shuffle, searing burning pain in my hip, and the women on my left and right grabbing my hands, upside down, with their slimy sweaty palms, dragging me along because their grips are like those of someone falling off a 20 story fire escape, definitely not letting go. AND this time I had a first experience with one of the upside down sweaty palm grippers, it was totally gross. She interlocked her fingers in mine, kind of like alternating her fingers with mine. Excuse me, lady, we are not newlyweds strolling on the beach. I glared at her and removed my hand, not gently. yich.

What an experience

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

I Try to Feel Only Simcha....

I have developed a love/dislike relationship with

I used to think it was SSOOOOO yentish, and would once a week furtively glance at it, quickly scrolling down to see any names I recognize, getting my fix. reading it in one breath, like Haman's sons in the Megillah.

Then I decided, hey! What's to be embarrassed about??! I was able to call old and forgotten (for a reason) school friends and wish them mazel tov, and casually say when they asked how I knew,
"I saw it on only Simchas!! What a clever website, perfect for us busy people who like to take a quick glance and have the opportunity to catch up and wish congrats to old friends!".

Okay, I don't say that. Quite like that. More like, "saw it on onlysimchas! I love it, great way to to know what's happening!"

Then I used it to see girls I used to know when they were younger, like former babysitters, former neighbors, former acquaintances. Quite convenient.

Eventually it evolved to seeing the names of girls and boys we know. Like my daughters' friends. The best way, of course, is to turn on the computer at midnight or later, when most people are sleeping or groggy, and then shriek while crashing into a desk or piece of furniture, shouting out "G-U-E-S-S- W-H-O- G-O-T E-N-G-A-G-E-D-!!!" At first everyone would come dashing down, because the fun is in seeing the name in print. Except for my husband, who would come crashing out of whatever room he was in (this always happens when he is falling asleep) yelling , "what happened? what fell? what's going on?!" Of course then we have to come up with a good reason as to why we
1. woke him up
2. had to shriek
3. are reading this totally gossip website

Now when it is my DIP's friends, we often know before it is online. But not always, and there is usually a lot of joy. And of course when see when some young clean shaven *boy* who graced our dining room table with small talk gets engaged. And then when they get married. And then when they have their first baby. And maybe their second (not quite, yet). We don't keep tabs, or anything, but we just notice.

Now it is still exciting, and fun, but a little hard sometimes. When we see girls just back from seminary on the list. Or boys whose names we recognize because it was mentioned but they were never available, listed as engaged to a girl who is 19. I really do feel happy for them, because it is the will of G-d and bashert, and everyone will find their zivug. It just tugs, a little.

I'H it will come!!

BTW, I know you can build a bnb. but can you be a source of nachas to yourself??

12, 292??

12, 292 hits??

Come on you people, if you are really looking at this, at least comment! Even if you find it incredibly dull and repetitive!!

Dry Spell

Having one now.

We are quite parched, searching through the dunes, trying to find some nourishment.

Okay a bit corny. But I have noticed that this is the term women use when discussing with friends the absence of phone calls for their shidduch age daughters, "we're having a dry spell right now".

Are boys* having a torrential downpour? Gale of sorts? Raining buckets?

*When are they called men? When they are financially independent? Shaving more than once a week?
And "girls"?!?
My mother recently attended her 50th high school reunion, this is how she spoke about it:

"Wow, I just spoke to the organizer, 73 girls are coming!"
Me: That's amazing. How many girls can't come? (maybe it's past curfew)
Mom: Well, 11 are dead. 3 are in wheelchairs, two are nursing sick husbands, and one we can't find. She disappeared.

I would have said, maybe she is in the mall, since girls can get lost there, but I thought it might be disrespectful

and as usual, the end of my post has nothing to do with the title.