There is a new aspect I don't like about the whole dating/shidduch scene. Not new, but newly realized by me.

Our beautiful bnos yisroel are expected to develop a meaningful relationship after 3 or 4 dates. With an absolute stranger. And if it doesn't work out, and the girl is lucky enough to have a "list", a week or two later she begins developing another meaningful relationship.

You know what? this is wreaking havoc on girls' emotional state.
Even if the boy is boring, ugly, and self centered.
Even if the girl says no.
Even if it ends before it ever leads anywhere "meaningful".

Kudos and Mazel Tovs and yay for those who marry the second or third boy they date.

And I am not whining about girls who have been dating for ten years,
or girls who are negative,
or girls who have unrealistic expectations.

I am talking about girls who have full, busy lives, who date in order to meet their Eizer Knegdo.
They are becoming emotionally exhausted.
I do not mean girls who think it is tragic that they aren't married at 22.
I mean girls who find it hard to share everything with a boy or with their parents because it is the same old stuff.

can someone please tell me a solution? but serious, well thought out options, please.
I KNOW the system stinks, so no complaints. just positive suggestions.

Then maybe I can try to implement some of these new ideas for DIP 3. who isn't yet in the parsha.

Talkin' Tough Does the Trick

I don't like to admit in public that I am a Vos iz Neias lurker, but I do read their news sometimes. And this article would be a wonderful read for the Obama administration, and, quite frankly, most Americans who continue to believe you can be accomodating and negotiate with Arabs.

http://www.vosizneias.com/35601/2009/07/24/

don't you just love his comment about his public relations skills? Ah! Israeli confidence!

I think some parents would do well to adopt this policy with their kids. A little backbone sometimes is helpful.

I Can See the Chemistry!

Overheard in a store:
two young women said hi to each other. One looked at the other's baby in the carriage and said,
"Oy! He is REALLY cute! And he Mamish looks like your older daughter! I really see the chemistry!"

I am not sure if the problem is that:
1. when they first heard the expression they weren't paying attention to the way it was said, and subsequently every time they use it, it is incorrect,.
2. they have no idea what chemistry is or means
3. they are like a lot of people in this neighborhood who don't know how to use the English language properly.

YBS could give them lessons. And he has been in camp, so no good conversations with him. When he is home he sleeps.