Monday, August 24, 2009

Hello out there, she's MY kid, too

Well, we don't have the guys yet, but I can tell you that when we do, and we are making a wedding, my name is going to be on the invitation with my husband's. None of this "rav so and so U'reiso".

that isn't tznius, it's just plain idiocy. If it is untzniusdik to write down the mother of the daughter's name, then it shouldn't say Mr. and Mrs. , but just Mr. and Family. don't even write Mr. and Wife. The connotations are too vulgar. And the monogram shouldn't have the initials of the boy, girl, and last name all entwined and mixed together. And I think the word "kallah" in "simchas Chosson V'Kallah" should be left out. People might start to envision a beautiful bride in a flowing gown.

And the whole Badekin thing should be completely obsolete. Let them do the checking thing out in the hall with only parents watching. Do you see the way those boys prance between rows of women?? To be honest, I am even wary about writing this, lest someone claim it is already banned. I can't quite understand why in the frum world it is still allowed.

I think when teaching about who is buried at Me'oras Hamachpela, children should be told "Adam U'reiso" and so on. And Kever Rochel? Should be referred to as "kever achos shel aishes Yaakov". Let's protect our children from exposure to women's names.

That's why I call my daughters DIP1, DIP2, etc.....

11 comments:

G6 said...

It seems to me that whole wording of the kesubah needs to be overhauled.

I mean, NOT ONLY do we call the kallah by her FULL NAME, but we discuss her virginity!!!

Some invitations even write הכלה הבתולה (which frankly, even I think is awful.......

Anonymous said...

I think you are living in the wrong neighborhood and hanging out with the wrong people. My friends & I would never dream of leaving out the parents names on a invitation.
Actually, the Hebrew on my own wedding invitation would be translated as "and the choice of her heart"

DPLM said...

Maybe the girls name should be left off the invite as well. I mean we could easily write "daughter of Rabbi so & so soon to be wife of the most amazing bochur so & so" then we would have nobody thinking there might be a woman involved in the whole wedding thing at all.

john said...

I am a little nervous to enter into this estrogen fueled ranting, but I must defend the other side, even though I actually agree with DIP. There are two equal parts to every wedding, a boy and a girl (or should I say a man and a woman) as well as in the creation of said child ( three parts actually, but that is for a different philosophical discussion).

However, some women, either by a natural modesty or by upbringing, prefer not to have their names listed, and that is their chice as well and we should respect that.

Based on my dealings with women, between a mother, wife and sisters, they usually get do do things the way they want to, so if it says "Rei'so", that is probably what the wife wanted.

daughtersintheparsha said...

6- I SO strongly disagree with you, and I am sorry you put the names of parents on an invitation in the same category as the Kesuba. as far as the "kalla Habesula" -it ain't my thing, it wasn't on my invite, but that is just old style.

women who choose to be modest, kudos to them. it is personal and I have no fault with that. I take issue with people who jump on the tznius/chumra bandwagon because they think that will be their salvation or entrance to an elite club

G6 said...

umm..... did you not sense the sarcasm???

daughtersintheparsha said...

nope, not at all

I just think that I have heard others comment on the whole "kallah Habesula" thing and I don't put it in the open for discussion category. I should've remembered that this is blogging we're talking about, not serious discussions

Time For Reading said...

Devil's Advocate:

On the English side your name will NOT be Listed. It will say Mr. and Mrs. Husbands First name, Last name.

Unless you choose to write it without the honorific and include both your first names.

mo said...

time for reading:

you're 100% correct.

regarding the "besula" thing,
A besula's kesuba is worth more than a woman who's been married before.
It's considered honourable to mention it

To those who feel uncomfortable with the wording:

Get your mind out of the gutter!!

All it means is that she has never been married before.

I heard that in a case-i.e. a BT- that a woman might know that the "besula" part is, say inacurate, you write it anyway.
So that she does not get embarrassed.

Anonymous said...

of course if chas v'shalom someone is sick the mother's name is used and tznius isn't discussed....even amongst the elite group!

Lvnsm27 said...

lol :) oy I don't think we're there yet

reminds me of iphone spoof where they keep having more and more things to do with it, you can even have coffee lol :) think it was on youtube