Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Didn't You Ever Take a Standardized Test?!?

I wonder if the poll worker volunteers ever took standardized tests as children. Or if they are aware that people take such tests. Or if they have ever had to fill out a form with little circles on it. I know I appear youthful at times, but do I look like an infant? Or do I have SUCH a vacuous and dull looking expression that these volunteers assume I am an absolute idiot??

I arrive at my local polling place, which doubles as a public school during regular hours.

ME: Hi, people, here to fullfill my civic duty!! Wait! what district am I?

(this happens every single time I come to vote. There are three tables set up, District 20, 86, and something else)

ME: Oh, nevermind, I remember now. I am district 20. Take the three digits of my house number, double it, add the number of drivers in my house, I got it
POLL WORKER: Just sign here (points to my name, in case I don't recognize it)
ME: okay, I'm off!
POLL WORKER: wait, Jim will explain what to do.
JIM: (rips off a sheet from a printed pad) This is a primary election.

pause.

ME: uh, yeah, I know, I am here to vote!
JIM: great! There are five positions with candidates running. (points to the five categories)

pause.
ME: uh, yeah, I know, I am here to vote!
JIM: so in each category, there are two or three people running for the position indicated on the top of the box. (Jim points to the top of the box)

ME: great!
JIM: next to each name is a small oval. (Jim points to each oval next to each candidate's name)

ME: (to myself. "THIS IS NOT REALLY HAPPENING")
JIM: So you need to pick one candidate in each category and carefully fill in the small oval located next to the candidate of your choice's name. Only one per office! Then proceed to the private booths to fill in your choice. When you are done you may place your ballot into this privacy folder, and then walk over to that area and the gentleman there will assist you.

ME: I carefully fill in my ovals, walk over to the brush-inhibited and hair-cut challenged individual sitting near the computer thing (Scantron). As I approach he gets up and walks out of the room. So I follow the clear instructions and place my ballot in the computer.

okay. am I actually living in the 21st century? The entire country is progressive and now doing these kinds of ballots? The poll worker told me these new ballots are so they can be accessible to wheel chair bound voters. The ADA has created this change.