It's a double standard.
Or actually, it's no standard. I wonder, if boys' yeshivos spent 1/4 of the time that girls schools do teaching midos, if a story like this would come out:
We've all heard that bochrim discuss their dates. At length. Mercilessly. Without kindness. And we know that the girls do not. They do not talk to their friends about their dates. Unless they are close to getting engaged, or there is one friend who is a sounding board, close confidante.
So here's the story I heard this past shabbos.
A boy (yes, of course, from a Yeshiva that has a good reputation) returned from a date to his dorm. Where, presumably, a bunch of other guys were hanging around. He stated, **LANGUAGE ALERT FOR THE SENSITIVE AND YOUNG**, "the door opened and I thought, dammit, she's ugly".
What's the big deal, you might say?
I know all the disclaimers. I know that looks ARE important to men. (guess what guys, to us women, too. we just don't talk about it). I know that attraction is an extremely important main factor in a relationship.
The big deal is that this unkind bochur just announced to a room of other bochrim that this girl is ugly. Never mind that it's in his opinion. Never mind that of course, there might be a baal midos in the group who will not be mekabel this Lashon Hara. Never mind that other boys might find this guy unpleasant, rude, obnoxious, and discount what he says.
It's disturbing because we ARE the people of the book. We ARE supposed to be better than others. This yeshiva has a good reputation. The boys there do not go to college. They can't. They have to be somewhat serious about their learning. And of course, you're one step out the door of serious religiosity if you plan to plan on a plan for parnosa.
It's disturbing because this boy who spends his whole day and night studying and learning Hashem's beautiful Torah doesn't have the most basic sense of kindness and thoughtfullness.
........of course, I am sure the girl is not from a wealthy family. That totally changes the picture, too. Green can be very attractive, no?