Monday, March 30, 2009

If Ya Ain't Married Ya Don't Count

so says one of the daughtersintheparsha.

we were at a simcha this week. oldest DIP was placed with all the single girls, she being the oldest, another one post high school, and then...all the rest of the girls in high school. and a few in elementary school. lower, lower grades.

DIP says if you aren't married, you don't count, you're just stuck with the singles. I gotta agree. There was one married girl one year older than her, and another married girl her age. Each of them have two kids. And they were on the adults table.

DIP also says this is in the 'yeshivish community, a problem'. I agree again. Purpose in life post high school being....get married and have babies. So if you aren't there yet, lump 'em all together at one table - fourth grade, seventh grade, 10th grade, and 3 years post seminary.

People sit at a simcha and whine and kvetch about how "it's CRAZY how we all have to -

send our girls to seminary in Israel, what a total waste of money"

oh yeah? you wouldn't even look at a girl for your son if she didn't go to the right places.

"it's CRAZY how we all have to-
have our boys go to the best yeshivos. Some boys are WONDERFUL boys and are not top students! let them LIVE!"

guess what. some boys aren't wonderful. they don't have unique talents, they don't shine in anything, and they don't even have such great midos. A mother at this same simcha said to me about her boys "and my one yingle struggles in school, (here's the disclaimer!!) but THAT son?!? I"ve NEVER had a discipline issue with him. it is so sad, he is SO kind to his siblings and is ALWAYS mevater for everyone, but school is hard! I just know he will be wonderful because he has these EXCEPTIONAL middos"

and what if he didn't? is he still unimportant in the eyes of G-d? I don't think so.
why are we so elitist?


John said...

It truly is sad, maybe you should bring the issue to the attention of the Baal Simcha.

G6 said...

Regarding the beginning of the post, not all baalei simcha are so utterly clueless and insensitive to the range in ages and feelings of single young women.

Regarding the second half of your post - - - WOW! Thought provoking stuff....

Mikeinmidwood said...

Ive been preaching the last part for ages, I gave up already.

john said...

we are elitist due to the nature of a society that favors style over substance.

or to paraphrase Fernando " It is better to look good that to be good"

daughtersintheparsha said...

who is fernando, the ABBA song?

john said...

fernando from saturday night live.

daughtersintheparsha said...

sorry, not a fan. Never was. Though I remember the Blues Brothers...