Friday, June 21, 2013

Pressure, or what if I don't have a B.A. in 18 months?

Dip 3 is back from Israel for one year.
She wanted to go to Touro, and did.  She felt an all girls/jewish school was the best environment for a good Bais Yakov girl, especially after the spiritual highs and gains of a year in our holy city of Jerusalem.

And it worked, for one year.  But they don't really have the right classes for her degree, so she decided to switch to a CUNY school.

It is likely her schooling will take another 18 months - 2 years (four semesters, maybe less if she can squeeze in summers and 21 credits per semester).

She feels pressure.  People's comments such as, "WHEN are you going to be finished???? And that's ONLY with a BACHELORS DEGREE?????"

Yes, she would like to marry a boy who will learn for a short while.  Yes, she will work to support. Yes, she knows that she might still be in school and he'll be in Yeshiva and they will need financial help (actually, help denotes adding to. She will need full support) to live. And she (and we) are ok with that.  But the world seems to think you are slacking off or unfocused or just something WRONG if you don't do a BA in one year and an MS or MA in another 18 months.

Why are we pressuring our girls so much?
This isn't a complaint post about the merits/disadvantages of a jewish organized college program.
  I will admit I had my years of skepticism, but then I realized that it's not about the program, it's about the qualifications and talents and abilities of the girls attending.  You can  be a great therapist or a lousy teacher regardless of what school/program  you attend. 

So when you call me about a shidduch for my daughter, she hopes to get a dual degree in online marketing/computer programming. And that program is not available through ITT, Reizel Reit, Bulka, Sara Schneirer, Florida University, Charter Oak.

And she enjoys going to classes.  The online classes program isn't a match for everyone.
I hope a perspective spouse will understand that.


Lost and Found said...

I think people are beginning, slowly, to appreciate the diversity of the degrees being completed by the girls nowadays. Guys are "bored" by the teachers, accountants, special ed and social work degrees. Guys also know that Jewish schools are limited in the degrees that are offered. I think it's a great thing that she's not going for the "standard."

I also think it's not a good thing to rush through a degree as is so common nowadays. Being that it's meant to be a parnasa, I'd rather a girl who took a little while longer to get her degree and actually knows what she's doing than her rushing through it and being clueless in her field.

daughtersintheparsha said...

I was talking about someone not rushing her degree, or someone feeling pressure that she should be done in under 2 years in order to be marketable. but I don't really care if boys are "bored" with the girls professions. Most of them are the ones paying the bills at the beginning. And even when I got married a long time ago, all the boys and girls were doing the same professions