Literally.
I get this painful cramp in my right hip whenever I go to a wedding. It usually hits around the time I am dancing in the old lady circle with the mother of the chosson/kallah. We do that shuffle thing, which now I have perfected to just dragging my shoes along the floor so I don't have to exert any effort by actually lifting my legs. Or there is the two step kicking thing:
two right kicks to the front,
two left kicks to the front,
jump forward,
jump backwards,
run to the left!!
or the other popular one, but THIS one can go on for a good twenty minutes. When this dance starts I pray it is a wedding where the chosson kallah aren't into dancing (ha ha) and the music will be a short set. This dance is the hora. But not a fun leaping around type, the
right foot forward
left foot forward
box step
right
left,
cherkaziya, or whatever that step is that we learned 35 years ago at Bnos Melave Malka that has not changed one step...
That is when the cramp sets in. Shooting bolts of pain. And did you notice that the dancing is 99% of the time going clockwise? so two wedding in one week and that is a very long and painful workout on my right hip. Or upper thigh. And there isn't even a hip muscle to get firm from all that shuffling and kicking.
Of course for me this is all exacerbated by the upside sweaty hand holder. Sweaty palms are uncomfortable, and the upside hand holder is unpleasant. They are both awful, but combined, sheer agony. And at the last wedding I went to, I got the death grip, too. So here I am dragging my feet during a painful shuffle, searing burning pain in my hip, and the women on my left and right grabbing my hands, upside down, with their slimy sweaty palms, dragging me along because their grips are like those of someone falling off a 20 story fire escape, definitely not letting go. AND this time I had a first experience with one of the upside down sweaty palm grippers, it was totally gross. She interlocked her fingers in mine, kind of like alternating her fingers with mine. Excuse me, lady, we are not newlyweds strolling on the beach. I glared at her and removed my hand, not gently. yich.
What an experience
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
I Try to Feel Only Simcha....
I have developed a love/dislike relationship with OnlySimchas.com.
I used to think it was SSOOOOO yentish, and would once a week furtively glance at it, quickly scrolling down to see any names I recognize, getting my fix. reading it in one breath, like Haman's sons in the Megillah.
Then I decided, hey! What's to be embarrassed about??! I was able to call old and forgotten (for a reason) school friends and wish them mazel tov, and casually say when they asked how I knew,
"I saw it on only Simchas!! What a clever website, perfect for us busy people who like to take a quick glance and have the opportunity to catch up and wish congrats to old friends!".
Okay, I don't say that. Quite like that. More like, "saw it on onlysimchas! I love it, great way to to know what's happening!"
Then I used it to see girls I used to know when they were younger, like former babysitters, former neighbors, former acquaintances. Quite convenient.
Eventually it evolved to seeing the names of girls and boys we know. Like my daughters' friends. The best way, of course, is to turn on the computer at midnight or later, when most people are sleeping or groggy, and then shriek while crashing into a desk or piece of furniture, shouting out "G-U-E-S-S- W-H-O- G-O-T E-N-G-A-G-E-D-!!!" At first everyone would come dashing down, because the fun is in seeing the name in print. Except for my husband, who would come crashing out of whatever room he was in (this always happens when he is falling asleep) yelling , "what happened? what fell? what's going on?!" Of course then we have to come up with a good reason as to why we
1. woke him up
2. had to shriek
3. are reading this totally gossip website
Now when it is my DIP's friends, we often know before it is online. But not always, and there is usually a lot of joy. And of course when see when some young clean shaven *boy* who graced our dining room table with small talk gets engaged. And then when they get married. And then when they have their first baby. And maybe their second (not quite, yet). We don't keep tabs, or anything, but we just notice.
Now it is still exciting, and fun, but a little hard sometimes. When we see girls just back from seminary on the list. Or boys whose names we recognize because it was mentioned but they were never available, listed as engaged to a girl who is 19. I really do feel happy for them, because it is the will of G-d and bashert, and everyone will find their zivug. It just tugs, a little.
I'H it will come!!
BTW, I know you can build a bnb. but can you be a source of nachas to yourself??
I used to think it was SSOOOOO yentish, and would once a week furtively glance at it, quickly scrolling down to see any names I recognize, getting my fix. reading it in one breath, like Haman's sons in the Megillah.
Then I decided, hey! What's to be embarrassed about??! I was able to call old and forgotten (for a reason) school friends and wish them mazel tov, and casually say when they asked how I knew,
"I saw it on only Simchas!! What a clever website, perfect for us busy people who like to take a quick glance and have the opportunity to catch up and wish congrats to old friends!".
Okay, I don't say that. Quite like that. More like, "saw it on onlysimchas! I love it, great way to to know what's happening!"
Then I used it to see girls I used to know when they were younger, like former babysitters, former neighbors, former acquaintances. Quite convenient.
Eventually it evolved to seeing the names of girls and boys we know. Like my daughters' friends. The best way, of course, is to turn on the computer at midnight or later, when most people are sleeping or groggy, and then shriek while crashing into a desk or piece of furniture, shouting out "G-U-E-S-S- W-H-O- G-O-T E-N-G-A-G-E-D-!!!" At first everyone would come dashing down, because the fun is in seeing the name in print. Except for my husband, who would come crashing out of whatever room he was in (this always happens when he is falling asleep) yelling , "what happened? what fell? what's going on?!" Of course then we have to come up with a good reason as to why we
1. woke him up
2. had to shriek
3. are reading this totally gossip website
Now when it is my DIP's friends, we often know before it is online. But not always, and there is usually a lot of joy. And of course when see when some young clean shaven *boy* who graced our dining room table with small talk gets engaged. And then when they get married. And then when they have their first baby. And maybe their second (not quite, yet). We don't keep tabs, or anything, but we just notice.
Now it is still exciting, and fun, but a little hard sometimes. When we see girls just back from seminary on the list. Or boys whose names we recognize because it was mentioned but they were never available, listed as engaged to a girl who is 19. I really do feel happy for them, because it is the will of G-d and bashert, and everyone will find their zivug. It just tugs, a little.
I'H it will come!!
BTW, I know you can build a bnb. but can you be a source of nachas to yourself??
12, 292??
12, 292 hits??
Come on you people, if you are really looking at this, at least comment! Even if you find it incredibly dull and repetitive!!
Come on you people, if you are really looking at this, at least comment! Even if you find it incredibly dull and repetitive!!
Dry Spell
Having one now.
We are quite parched, searching through the dunes, trying to find some nourishment.
Okay a bit corny. But I have noticed that this is the term women use when discussing with friends the absence of phone calls for their shidduch age daughters, "we're having a dry spell right now".
Are boys* having a torrential downpour? Gale of sorts? Raining buckets?
*When are they called men? When they are financially independent? Shaving more than once a week?
And "girls"?!?
My mother recently attended her 50th high school reunion, this is how she spoke about it:
"Wow, I just spoke to the organizer, 73 girls are coming!"
Me: That's amazing. How many girls can't come? (maybe it's past curfew)
Mom: Well, 11 are dead. 3 are in wheelchairs, two are nursing sick husbands, and one we can't find. She disappeared.
I would have said, maybe she is in the mall, since girls can get lost there, but I thought it might be disrespectful
and as usual, the end of my post has nothing to do with the title.
We are quite parched, searching through the dunes, trying to find some nourishment.
Okay a bit corny. But I have noticed that this is the term women use when discussing with friends the absence of phone calls for their shidduch age daughters, "we're having a dry spell right now".
Are boys* having a torrential downpour? Gale of sorts? Raining buckets?
*When are they called men? When they are financially independent? Shaving more than once a week?
And "girls"?!?
My mother recently attended her 50th high school reunion, this is how she spoke about it:
"Wow, I just spoke to the organizer, 73 girls are coming!"
Me: That's amazing. How many girls can't come? (maybe it's past curfew)
Mom: Well, 11 are dead. 3 are in wheelchairs, two are nursing sick husbands, and one we can't find. She disappeared.
I would have said, maybe she is in the mall, since girls can get lost there, but I thought it might be disrespectful
and as usual, the end of my post has nothing to do with the title.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
The Pillow of Education
YBS told me that life is different now when raising kids. This 18 year old had a long, frank discussion with his equally wise and world weary 18 year old cousin, and they decided together that:
Parents used to use the Board of Education, now they need to use the Pillow of Education.
If you want your son to do something, don't tell him. Make him think HE wants to do it.
I really shouldn't complain or make fun. Here is my older teenage son telling me how he wants me to be a good parent to him.
Time to sleep on those boards, gotta put my pillows to better use.
Parents used to use the Board of Education, now they need to use the Pillow of Education.
If you want your son to do something, don't tell him. Make him think HE wants to do it.
I really shouldn't complain or make fun. Here is my older teenage son telling me how he wants me to be a good parent to him.
Time to sleep on those boards, gotta put my pillows to better use.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Yeshiva World today presented a Kol Korei from the Rabbonim declaring boys should marry girls close to their own age, or even older, to help solve the age-gap-shidduch-crisis-issue.
Brilliant.
This is how I read into it:
Don't let girls date or marry before they turn twenty. This way they will have earned some money, or begun their schooling, and are closer to finishing a degree and increased earning power.
In turn, it puts less of a strain on parents to help support sons-in-law in Kollel.
In addition, post seminary girls have more realistic obligations and have experienced the realities of juggling school, jobs, and social activities to have a better understanding of commitments and realistic expectations of what life can throw at you.
Therefore parents may actually have two or three children marrying within a few years without the father mortgaging to the hilt and having a heart attack at the 3rd child'sTano'im.
Brilliant! or, duh, extemely obvious.
This actually might also lead to less of the following experience I just had with a potential shadchan.
She called me to suggest boy for one of the DIP's. He is learning, will do so for a few years, then wants to go to grad school. Sounds great! Responsible! NORMAL! But this is how the conversation went:
Shadchan: So this guy is really into his learning, serious about his chavrusos and zmanin, he is just realistic about the future!
Me: sounds great to me
SH: But the mother says she has 100 names and they are all the same
Me: don't worry, my DIP's are different (like really, what SHOULD I have said? mine are the 101st and 102nd of the same??)
SH: The girls who want someone who is only learning get upset that he has a BTL and even talks about going for a Masters, and the ones who want a guy who will work aren't serious about his learning, and don't really want to support him for a few years!
Me: (in a magnanimous (I have no clue why this is now underlined) voice) well, you know, girls panic or aren't sure of what they want, and
SH: no, no, my point is, he is the TYPE to really learn for a long time, but he is very REALISTIC as to the REALITIES of life, and he wants to have a parnossa but he wants a girl who REALLY wants someone who is learning, but he HAS to go to school, but REALLY he is into his learning...
Why is everyone so darn apologetic? Just say it like it is! He is learning and will have a parnossa.
Oy vey
Brilliant.
This is how I read into it:
Don't let girls date or marry before they turn twenty. This way they will have earned some money, or begun their schooling, and are closer to finishing a degree and increased earning power.
In turn, it puts less of a strain on parents to help support sons-in-law in Kollel.
In addition, post seminary girls have more realistic obligations and have experienced the realities of juggling school, jobs, and social activities to have a better understanding of commitments and realistic expectations of what life can throw at you.
Therefore parents may actually have two or three children marrying within a few years without the father mortgaging to the hilt and having a heart attack at the 3rd child'sTano'im.
Brilliant! or, duh, extemely obvious.
This actually might also lead to less of the following experience I just had with a potential shadchan.
She called me to suggest boy for one of the DIP's. He is learning, will do so for a few years, then wants to go to grad school. Sounds great! Responsible! NORMAL! But this is how the conversation went:
Shadchan: So this guy is really into his learning, serious about his chavrusos and zmanin, he is just realistic about the future!
Me: sounds great to me
SH: But the mother says she has 100 names and they are all the same
Me: don't worry, my DIP's are different (like really, what SHOULD I have said? mine are the 101st and 102nd of the same??)
SH: The girls who want someone who is only learning get upset that he has a BTL and even talks about going for a Masters, and the ones who want a guy who will work aren't serious about his learning, and don't really want to support him for a few years!
Me: (in a magnanimous (I have no clue why this is now underlined) voice) well, you know, girls panic or aren't sure of what they want, and
SH: no, no, my point is, he is the TYPE to really learn for a long time, but he is very REALISTIC as to the REALITIES of life, and he wants to have a parnossa but he wants a girl who REALLY wants someone who is learning, but he HAS to go to school, but REALLY he is into his learning...
Why is everyone so darn apologetic? Just say it like it is! He is learning and will have a parnossa.
Oy vey
Monday, September 21, 2009
Gmar Chasima Tova
Let's hope this year H'Bhu will answer all of Klal Yisroel's tefilos.
And next year at this time I will be blogging about my sons-in-law
And next year at this time I will be blogging about my sons-in-law
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)