Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Eight nights, Eight latkes? Or is that 64?

So Yeshiva Bochur Son decided that every night of chanuka he has to eat as many latkes as that night. According to the number. Conversation:

YBS: " Hey, Ma, I don't smell a certain Matzav going on in the kitchen"
ME: "and in real life English that translates to..."
YBS: "What?! No latkes? It's the first night! I think L'choira you're shterring my oineg chanuka"
ME: "You want 'em, you make 'em. I just got my sheitel done and this shirt is dry clean only. Do you know how badly everything smells like rancid oil when you stand in front of a frying pan? I nearly gag when I have to carpool after chanuka suppers and the car fills up with kids who reek like fried garlic and fried oil and fried fries and other smelly greasy foods. Ugh, my stomach is roiling and heaving and..."
HUSBAND WHO RARELY CONTRIBUTES BUT HAS HAD ENOUGH: "let him make them"

* note * this is why I blog. Who can have a conversation with someone who talks like this? four words??

YBS: "K, I am doin' it. Where's the grinding zach?"
ME: "In the storage zach called a CABINET"

I must admit he did a great job, putting out all the ingredients first, following the recipe in the Kosher Pallate, only stopping to shout

YBS:" I am parched! Any mashkeh around here?"

Of course my newly cleaned kitchen reeked like fried latkes, but everyone was happy. And happy kids make happy Moms.

So tonight, night 3, he comes in:
YBS: "the mitzva of oil is zicher not only in salad, Ma, we gotta have Latkes. And it is the third night, so I need to eat three. And you didn't make any last night, so I need two more. Lemaisa you should grada thank me for making supper"

I did. They smelled awful and everyone was happy.

Tomorrow I will make donuts. That has a different smell. (Not really, I just don't like potatoes)

9 comments:

EsPes said...

hahaha ur son is really funny

daughtersintheparsha said...

you know what? He IS funny. and this yeshivish shprach (I am learning!) he uses only with me, not even his friends. and he doesn't DARE talk this way in front of my parents, they'd go ballistic. He has a great English vocabulary- all those years of me hocking him to read

EsPes said...

hahaha well its definitely entertaining.... i dont know how u even understand it tho!

G6 said...

Great great post!
P.S. I certainly hope you made him wash up all the "shmutzige zachen" when he was finished.
Just one correction: One latke for each candle on each night would only garner him 36 latkes, not 64...

G said...

L'choira you should tell him that it's b'stama that in order to be m'kayim the mitzvah llchol hadayus he needs to be osse in the cheftza & cook them hisdamnself...efsher:)

daughtersintheparsha said...

he doesn't use nivul peh.

but I do when he gets REALLY annoying ;-)

and he does clean up. musdama. basically.

you are better at this than I am! wow.

nmf #7 said...

Hysterical! Although I'm impressed to know he has a good vocabulary outside of the yeshivish lingo!

tembow said...

omg this yeshivish lingo is so annoying if you don't know what they're talking about!! my brothers use those words all the time and i'm like, "Huh???? can you say that in english???"

sporadicintelligence said...

I dunno, I kinda like the yeshivis talk, it makes everything sound some much more important than it is. (hand gestures included)

Loved the post btw!