Okay, I got issues with this crazy week descriptor. People are busy. But crazy? Like,
driving kids to music lessons
driving kids to swimming lessons
driving kids to art lessons
driving kids to chesed,
driving kids to gymnastics, aerobics, karate, choir practice, dance practice, practice for practice?
Like that kind of crazy?
I am cooking for people sitting shiva
I am cooking for people who had babies
I am cooking for this at risk yeshiva with 4 boys I do it every week it's no big deal,
I am cooking for someone laid up with an illness/bad pregnancy/bad mood?
Or crazy, like,
I have to go to the shoemaker to pickup/drop off seven pairs of shabbos shoes and killer heel boots,
I have to go to the cleaners to pickup/drop off my six teenage yeshiva bochurs' shirts and suits, and my daughters' dresses which we had lengthened/shortened,
I have to pick up paper goods for the simcha I am making
I have to pick up props for the simcha I am making,
I have to pick up the people from the airport who are coming in for the simcha I am making something for,
I have to pick up my children from all the above places I drove them to,
I have to go to the city to pick up something I ordered,
I have to go to Woodbury Commons to return something I bought,
I have to go to Brooklyn to exchange something I bought/got (and you know Brooklyn, 24 hours to exchange or it's yours forever)
or crazy like,
I am home with three sick kids,
I am home with one sick teenager,
I am home with a sick spouse which is worse than all the sick teens and kids of the world combined,
I am home waiting for my cleaning woman,
I am home waiting for my repair man.
I am home waiting for the cable guy (DON'T PANIC! ONLY FOR THE DSL LINE FOR MY COMPUTER AND MY MARRIED KIDS IN ISRAEL TO CALL ME ON! NOT CABLE T.V.!! POO POO)
I am home waiting for an estimate,
I am home because no one plowed my driveway and I have a flat (Scratch that one, it implies sitting around uselessly and drinking tea, relaxing, a big no-no)
or crazy, like,
I have to go run to the mall to get a scarf,
I have to go run to the further out mall to get a pair of boots I have a coupon for and the local store doesn't have,
I have to go run to the mall in another state to get the linen I've been watching that's on sale now,
I have to go run to the mall over the bridge to get the coat my sister on the West Coast needs,
okay. We make choices, called getting married, having a family, taking care of them, being involved in community affairs. That ain't crazy, ladies, THAT IS LIFE.
Which leads to my related next rant:
OY! I AM WIPED.
"I just had my inlaws for shabbos, and my married daughter."
So? -But we don't say the word "so?" we say- "Oy, I know what you mean. I just had my in laws and my married daughter and my married son with the new baby. A bit of a screamer. But a cutie."
So? "I just had my in laws, my two married kids, and my nephew from Israel with his three vilta chaya boys, you know those Israeli cheder kids, zero derech eretz."
Okay, so now, my inlaws and married daughter are no work whatsoever, because ya'll just told me how that was nothing compared to your horrible houseguests!(and I liked having them over, but I am now too scared to say that, who knows how you will one up that comment).
Or how about this one:
OY! I AM WIPED!!
"I just packed up my three kids for overnight camp. Ma-jor shopping! But thankfully, over."
"I just packed up my five kids for overnight camp"
"I just packed up my five kids for overnight camp for the whole summer, plus my two nephews who live in Florida and came here a week before camp started because their parents had a Simcha in Belgium"
"WOW! you guys are amazing! I only had to pack up four kids and one nephew, but he was such a help since he has been here since the bar mitzva we made two weeks ago for 300 hundred people. I am so thankful I am going to Israel now for five weeks. Can't wait to see my married daughter and the triplets for whom I am bringing some clothes and furniture I got on sale on line so I only had to run to a mall/Woodbury/another state/another continent once to get her the stuff she needed. You are all such inspiring friends!"
I am a bad friend?
I offer, volunteer, take care of my kids, do what I have to do. We are all doing it. Does that make it less difficult or time consuming or overwhelming? Why can't we just say,
"wow. you must be zonked. and you must feel accomplished. great for you. do your kids appreciate what you do? do YOU appreciate yourself and how much you get done?"
Less pontificating, Less one upping, More compliments, More sympathy (even if youknow you can do more and do it quicker and more efficiently)
I just have this vision of women with flying wigs and little puffs of smoke in a trail behind them as they dash in and out of cars and stores and schools and malls and simchas halls and grocery stores. Gasping for breath and grabbing bread ends and gulping water and zooming around their world.
Sit on the couch. Drink some tea. Nibble leftover shabbos nash (Shabbos=less calories).
Have a day where you go to work, do some errands, talk to the kids, talk to your mom, cook supper, eat and shmooze with the family, and go to bed.
I hope you feel accomplished, you should.